In both these two films (and many others), Qi Zhai points out that the female character in the story is portrayed as very "childlike", while her male counterpart is more of the "eternally cheerful, silently suffering, unbreakably strong type." She goes on further to write that the relationship between both characters remind her much of a father-daughter relationship rather than a relationship between two people of equal maturity.
This portrayal of the ideal female counterpart in a relationship as being a naive, childlike is a large part of why I've never been drawn to to the Chinese and Korean soap operas (and films) that are very popular in China, Korea and abroad. I often find the female leads annoyingly dependent and difficult to relate to.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm hardly the type of girl who relies on others to take care of things for me. I take pride in the fact that I can (mostly) take care of myself. Consequently, I find other people who are overly needy or dependent very trying and seeing characters with such qualities on film or television, cringe-worthy. However, in Chinese culture, this archetype of a naive female and her strong, silent male counterpart is often portrayed as the ideal relationship.
Nothing demonstrates this more than the idea of sajiao ((撒娇), which the Modern Chinese Dictionary defines as, " to deliberately act like a spoiled child in front of someone because of the awareness of the other person's affection."*
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From my understanding of sajiao, it's typically used by the female in relationships in order to invoke the male counterpart to do something for them as a sign of affection. Often times, the girl will act much like a spoiled young girl (as opposed to grown woman) in order to get her male companion to do whatever she wants him to do, even if she can do it perfectly well by herself. The only Western/English equivalent to sajiao that I can think of is the concept of a damsel-in-distress, but even that doesn't seem like an appropriate equailvent.
I've long been aware of the actions of sajiao, however it was only when I ran across (another) column in China Daily also by Qi Zhai that I realized that the characteristics I often associated with stereotypical Chinese girls who act like little girls with their boyfriends/husbands/whatever actually had an overarching, all-encompassing term.
As Joseph Christian remarks in his very good explanation of sajiao (which incidentally is also from China Daily), the concept of sajiao is often very polarizing: either you love it or you hate it. I, being the independent-minded girl that I am, fall directly into the latter category.
Much like my perspective on the female characters in many Asian films and television shows, I find the concept and practice of sajiao annoying, childish and out-of-date. It drives me up the walls to see other girls pout and act like they're six years old again around others. When I see this happening (both in China and in the United States), I often want to grab the girl, give her a good shake and scream, "Just grow up already!" (I don't, of course. Instead, I exercise self-control and don't accost the random girl, whom I hope, just doesn't know any better.)
Naturally, I realize that my attitude towards the female portrayal of girls in Asian popular media and towards the concept of sajiao extremely influenced by the fact that I grew up in the United States, where (I think) the concept of the damsel-in-distress is increasingly unpopular and where the feminist movement was very influential.
Not to mention also that my parents, who despite having lived most of their lives in Hong Kong with strong regards to Chinese traditions, raised me with the very modern view of gender and femininity. For as long as I can remember, my parents, particularly my mom, have/has long taught me that in this world, it's best to depend on yourself first and that independence is a good, if not admirable, quality to have, which a concept I'm eternally grateful for them for emphasizing to me.
Needless to say, the concept of sajiao and the idealized concept of the role of a woman in a relationship are not concepts I will be adopting into my life. This, in my opinion, is not case of "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," or in this case, when in Beijing, do as the Beijing-ers do.
*This definition of sajiao is taken from a essay by Majorie K.M. Chan on gender differences in Chinese linguistics. It touches briefly on the concept of sajiao, but most of the focus is on linguistics and gender roles in China and the Chinese langauge. If you want to read it, click here.
**If you want to know more about the concept of "sajiao" a quick Google search will lead to you to an entire slew of articles, forums and posts on the concept. Happy browsing.
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