Ready, Set...Marry??

Some days here in China, I feel like I'm living in the midst of a Jane Austen novel. No, not in the nightly-balls-and-parties-and-touring-grand-English-estates sense, but more in the you-must-get-married-by-X-age sense. As much as I love reading a good Jane Austen novel occasionally, living in a what I like to call a marriage-obsessed culture is a different story altogether. 

To call China a marriage-obsessed culture is not far-fetched. There is a lot of emphasis here on finding the 'right' person, getting married and starting a family, particularly on females here. In fact, the term for an unmarried woman over the age of 27 is 剩女(shèng nǚ) meaning leftover woman. No, I am not kidding, though I wish I was. (If you think 27 is rather young to be disparaging over a lack of husband, at least one of the articles I read on "sheng nu" alleged that a girl becomes a "sheng nu" at after the very young age of 25. Ack.)

The emphasis on marriage is so great that during the Spring Festival/Chinese New Year, many parents and singles headed to the temple fairs for the sole purpose of trying to find a potential marriage match. At the Beijing International Sculpture Park, an estimated 50,000+ people visited the park's love-matching event where parents and singles could consult relationship experts, find potential matches and look at the estimated 5,000 personal advertisements posted by other people looking for a potential partner.

Across town, a similar event at Ditan Park averaged 150,000 visitors per day to it's seven-day match-making event. Outside of the event, more desperate parents unwilling to pay the even entrance fee held signs touting their offspring's accomplishments in hopes of finding them a good match.

In Shanghai, the match-making fervor isn't limited to the Spring Festival. Every weekend, in People's Park in the center of Shanghai, parents gather craning their necks to look at papers posted on bushes touting a potential match's good attributes including background, education and physical traits, all in hopes that the next meeting they arrange for their son/daughter will lead to a good marriage.

The pressure to get married isn't just limited to the heterosexual set either. In Shanghai, in contrast to the open marriage market in People's Park, there is also a thriving fake-marriage market, in which lesbians and gays gather in hopes of finding someone to enter into a fake marriage with. 

Might as well get comfortable

Recently, there's been a lot of talk about the state of Beijing traffic in the news. According to an oft-quoted study by IBM on traffic in twenty of the world's cities, Beijing and Mexico City tied for last place on their consumer pain index. That is, out of a 100 (a 100 being the worse), Beijing and Mexico City both came in at 99 for the most onerous traffic, based on a variety of factors including gas prices, length of commute and the effects of traffic on day to day decisions.

For those of you unfamiliar with the state of Beijing traffic, China Daily has put together a nice summary of the problems facing Beijing transportation and possible solutions here. (There are pictures too!)

This year, the Beijing city government enacted several ordinances in hopes of curbing Beijing traffic. The most discussed traffic measure aims to curb car sales, which have dramatically increased the last few years. Starting on January 1st of this year, all prospective car buyers must first apply online (or in-person) for a license plate, which are given out on a lottery-based system every month.

Other new traffic ordinances aimed at curbing Beijing's snarling traffic include raising parking rates at all garages, banning non-Beijing registered cars inside the Fifth Ring Road during rush hour and limiting who can drive based on even/odd license plate numbers.

To anyone who lives and Beijing, the news that Beijing traffic is one of the worst in the world hardly comes as a shock. There have been times where I'm pretty sure I've sat (or stood) on a bus for an half-hour(or more) and not moved more than a few yards. Walking is often times faster, if your destination is already within a relatively walkable distance. (Remember, Beijing is a very large, very spread out city.)

As for the Beijing subway, it's great...in theory. However, considering the sheer size of Beijing, the subway stops are relatively few and far between. Not to mention, that with only a few transfer points for each line, certain stations often resemble giant cattle herding centers with hordes of people trying to switch from one line to another, particularly during rush hours and Friday evening. It also takes a while to get from one place to another. For instance, it takes me roughly an hour (including walking time) by subway for me travel from Wangfujing to BNU, which as far as Beijing goes, is pretty centrally located between the 2nd and 3rd Ring Roads.

Picture courtesy of ChinaDaily.com.cn

Now of course, I know that in terms of subway public transportation, I've been a bit spoiled after living in New York City and Paris, both of which have very developed subway systems that have grown and adapted to it's residents needs over many decades. But that doesn't mean Beijing can sit back and wait for time to help solve it's traffic problems.

2010: A Retrospective

(As inspired by another Qi Zhai column in China Daily)

Top 10 Highlights of 2010

(in no particular order)

1. Welcoming the newest (though not for long) member of my family and becoming his godmother.
2. Gathering up the courage (and realizing I'd regret it if I didn't) to jump off the cliff at McCloud Waterfalls with my friends.
3. Meeting (more) people from all across the world that I otherwise might never have had the chance to interact with.
4. Being able to meet up with family and friends I hadn't seen in a while, including a particular family friend who I hadn't seen in over ten years.
5. Starting this blog and actually keeping up with it.
6. Following the San Francisco Giants as they proved the naysayers wrong and went on to win their first SF World Series title.
7. Realizing that there's no 'correct' path to take after college graduation and that it's ultimately up to me to choose what my next step is.
8. Deciding to come to China to study for a year, despite knowing I was bound to feel homesick sooner or later.
9. Starting to get a real grasp on written and spoken Mandarin.
10. And finally, being able to adapt to life in China, although not without some help and some struggles of my own.

Perhaps in hindsight, it wasn't the most exciting year (though my life has never been what people would call 'exciting'), but a good one nonetheless. Now onward to see what 2011 has in store for me....

PS. I'm curious to know what your 2010 highlights are. If you want to share, e-mail me or put them in the comments!

You don't always get what you bargain for

For decades, China has coveted the Nobel Peace Prize, in hopes that one day one of their own citizens (while living in China) could claim it as a recipient. To China, winning the Nobel Peace Prize would ultimately prove to the world that China has indeed become a country to reckon with and has finally caught up to, if not surpassed, the Western powers. This year, China's wish was granted, although not in the form they were expecting it. What can I say? You can't always get what you bargain for.

Back in early October, it was announced that the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize would be awarded to Liu Xiaobo, a Chinese dissent currently jailed for subversion of state power, after co-authoring Charter 08, a highly critical political manifesto on the Chinese government. Liu was also a notable figure in the 1989 Tiananmen Square student protests.

To say that China wasn't thrilled upon learning Liu Xiaobo was awarded this year's Nobel Prize would be an understatement. As soon as the announcement was made, China quickly called the Norwegian ambassador to express their anger and publicly  retorted by calling the decision "blasphemy."

Additionally, the story of that the first Chinese man ever had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize was shushed quiet throughout Chinese media outlets. News story concerning the prize form international news outlets, such as CNN or the BBC were also blacked out (CNN and BBC are only available in apartment complexes catered to foreigners and in nice hotels.). Many western news websites featuring stories about the award and Internet searches on "Liu Xiaobo" and "Nobel Peace Prize" were also blocked by the Great Chinese Firewall. Lastly, and perhaps the most creepily, as the news of the decision spread, the Chinese government erased the characters composing the characters of Liu Xiaobo's name out of the SMS (texting) database so that no text messages containing his name could be sent out. Those who succeeded prior to the big erased found their messages blocked and sometimes SIM cards deactivated.

Not surprisingly, this past weekend as the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony was held in Oslo, Norway, many Western news websites were blocked once again.Without using a VPN, I couldn't access CNN.com; although ironically, I could access the NY Times where the "Empty Chair" was one of the leading stories of the weekend. (Since Liu Xiaobo was obviously not allowed to attend the ceremony in Oslo and accept his award, the award was given to an "empty chair," thus all the "Empty Chair" headlines about the Nobel Peace Prize this weekend.)

Films, girls and sajiao

While perusing ChinaDaily.com the other day, I came across a column written by Qi Zhai entitled, "Time standing still for Chinese-style love affair," in which she examines the central relationships in two different Chinese movies (Street Angel and Under the Hawthorne Tree) made 70 years apart. In her examination of the two films, Qi Zhai realizes that despite that one was made in the 1930s and the other in 2010, the relationship archetypes both films remains the same.

In both these two films (and many others), Qi Zhai points out that the female character in the story is portrayed as very "childlike", while her male counterpart is more of the "eternally cheerful, silently suffering, unbreakably strong type." She goes on further to write that the relationship between both characters remind her much of a father-daughter relationship rather than a relationship between two people of equal maturity.

This portrayal of the ideal female counterpart in a relationship as being a naive, childlike is a large part of why I've never been drawn to to the Chinese and Korean soap operas (and films) that are very popular in China, Korea and abroad. I often find the female leads annoyingly dependent and difficult to relate to.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm hardly the type of girl who relies on others to take care of things for me. I take pride in the fact that I can (mostly) take care of myself. Consequently, I find other people who are overly needy or dependent very trying and seeing characters with such qualities on film or television, cringe-worthy. However, in Chinese culture, this archetype of a naive female and her strong, silent male counterpart is often portrayed as the ideal relationship.

Nothing demonstrates this more than the idea of sajiao ((撒娇), which the Modern Chinese Dictionary defines as, " to deliberately act like a spoiled child in front of someone because of the awareness of the other person's affection."*

Wuzhen

From my understanding of sajiao, it's typically used by the female in relationships in order to invoke the male counterpart to do something for them as a sign of affection. Often times, the girl will act much like a spoiled young girl (as opposed to grown woman) in order to get her male companion to do whatever she wants him to do, even if she can do it perfectly well by herself. The only Western/English equivalent to sajiao that I can think of is the concept of a damsel-in-distress, but even that doesn't seem like an appropriate equailvent.

Tensions on the Korean Pennisula

Just in case you've been living under a rock (or haven't been paying attention to international news), yesterday North Korea shelled a small South Korean island that lies in a disputed marine area off the eastern Korean shoreline. As a result, the tensions between South and North Korea have once again heightened.

Many of the Korean students here are very concerned about the current "crisis status" (as the South Korean government calls it) on the Korean peninsula. Since all of age South Korean males are required by law to serve at least two years in the military, many are afraid that if the situation does escalate, they would all be recalled back to South Korea to resume their military service. (Most, if not all of the Korean male students have already completed their mandatory two, if not more, years of service.)

Personally, I highly doubt that the tensions will escalate to anything further. Every year or every few months, it seems like North Korea launches some sort of "attack" on South Korea and tensions escalate for a while but then die down to their normal level of tension. Also from an international perspective, it would be an unwise move on North Korea's part to try to escalate the tensions considering South Korea has the backing of the western powers, including the United States; while China, who historically has backed North Korea, seems hesitant to back North Korea for fear of hurting it's relations with the United States and other Western countries.

Hopefully, though, I will not live to regret that last paragraph.

For more information about the situation on the Korean pennisula, take a look at some of these links:
'Crisis Status' in South Korea After North Shells Island (NYTimes)
China Faces a Nettlesome Neighbor in N. Korea (NYTimes)
Two Koreas Exchange Fire (China Daily)
China calls for restraint from DPRK and ROK (China Daily)
US and S.Korea to Hold War Games (Al Jazeera English)
World reacts to Korea Clashes (Al Jazeera English)

Sorry for the link overload, but if my classes at NYU taught me nothing else, I did learn that the news source is just as important (or sometimes, even more important) than the news itself.